October 23rd

9:00AM // The Quiet Mule Speaketh

Hey, I can’t tell you my name, but you probably already know who I am anyway. And even if you don’t, a sense of mystery keeps the kids entertained, and that is why you are still reading. No, no, I am not some mythical creature. I’m not even a real Mule. But I am quiet. In fact, you’ll probably forget that I even exist because I never says anything. But my subtle actions keep this place together. People go through their life after coming here, and whenever something good happens they think, “I did it myself.” But they didn’t do a thing. It was me. A cult? I’m insulted! What makes you think this is a cult? It is just a stupid website. I am getting confused, and it’s getting cold out. Anyway, just keep stirring the coals, man. We’ll get there someday. -your young, lovely Quiet Mule

January 29th

9:00AM // 11 notes

Hey I never posted the Intro to QM over here.  What d’ya know? 

January 9th

9:00AM // 8 notes // Everyone who lives under roofs will soon see the roofs fall upon them. Death is the inevitable result.

 A humble prophecy

— Quiet Mule

October 27th

9:00AM // 1 note // Prophecy #1

 Good evening, friends and enemies. I hope you have not forgotten my function as a prophet after such lengthy introductions to my life and philosophy. Although I do enjoy talking about myself, the main purpose of this blog is to make the reader aware of the fate of human existence in the future. N0, I am not a born prophet…I acquired my skill as one acquires any skill…hard, hard work and determination. These are overrated traits, but they’re useful for a man such as I, with so much responsibility. (Sigh) I really have to stop calling myself a man.

Thus, this blog serves a function like no other. The fact that I am using this as the sole way in which I communicate my visions of the future to the masses makes it an extremely important publication. In all honesty, this may be the only blog that actually matters.

I receive my prophetic visions through a device known as a commercial stereoscope. (In common terminology, a View-Master) I insert the slides of various different topics, and then snap the device very quickly, spending only a few moments on each image. Eventually, this rapid succession, if done correctly, produces a window into time from which I can garner the potential pathways open to man.

Unfortunately, my view of the future is limited to the approximate area on earth displayed in the View-Master, so I have to go through multiple sets of slides in order to develop an adequate understanding of what I see, and arrive at implications for what is to come. Bakey Man kindly scanned a slide that I use often, at the Internet Cafe in which he earns a meager portion of his living, pictured below. Interestingly, the sets that work most often in opening up a portal are “Contemporary Italian Figurines” and “Architectural Landmarks of New England,” so you can guess how limited my viewpoint can be.


Although I have a number of Prophecies that should be brought to light, I want to begin by revealing to you my most general interpretation, and then we’ll get more specific from there. As far as I can tell, the progress of humanity has in store for it two mutually exclusive conclusions. I see a future ahead of us without time, or at least where time is not taken seriously, a new age where people finally come to terms with Einstein’s theories. So “conclusion” in this sense means a final end to time and progress.

The first vision I have of this timeless world is one of harmony and selfless cooperation, where humans live without consideration of the future in unchanging togetherness, with each other and nature. Aside from the inevitability of death (which wouldn’t concern these people much anyway), this scenario would much resemble the Christian idea of Heaven, without the relinquishing of individuality for absorption into an all powerful god-thing.

The other vision is too one of unconscious nothingness, but on the other end of the spectrum. I see human life as being total mundane misery, with minimal interaction between members of the species. Everyone exists as self-serving separate entities that interact with others as “objects in the shape of humans,” as the philosopher Brian Hioe put it. Being that the natural elements that worked together to create conditions for life will be destroyed, similar structures and systems will be artificially manufactured to make up for this loss of balance. Like the former prospect, time will cease to be a mode of perspective utilized by the human mind, but in this case it will have negative consequences. After endless hours of staring at screens, this ability will disappear, and no one will have the foresight to prevent increasing amounts of suffering that people inflict on themselves. Again inaccurately quoting Brian Hioe, “What the enablers of this future want to do is stop change.” This scenario resembles the Christian notion of hell. As we can see with the current trend of global warming, the earth is already preparing for this outcome.

Some may see these visions as overly simplistic Utopian and Dystopian renderings of the future, the first being too idealistic and the other as being too pessimistic. However, I did observe some slight variations. For example, the second proposed future may not be dreary, because there will still be a sun. Apparently it takes too much effort to destroy it and replace it with something man-made. As for the happy “ending,” it seems to me that Blogs will cease to exist, because there will be no immature insecurity to fuel the effort to write and publish them. In which case, you know what, don’t do anything to prevent the progression towards existential hell. I need an audience.

June 3rd

11:55AM // 4 notes // The Crumbs of Philosophy

Last night I stayed up until I was completely exhausted. I was mulling over in my mind my life thus far, and strained myself in doing so. The memory of my time in the human world is fading rapidly every day I spend in the forest, so it takes a great deal of effort on my part to try to remember it, although for much of my history I did consult Bakey Man on the more specific details. His memories are generally unaffected by living in the woods, because he so often ventures out of here to work for money that he keeps a strong grasp on his humanness. This is not to say he is not becoming a wild, highly sentient creature like me, because every day he is losing his attachment and association with the outside world, it’s just that his remembrance of his former self remains untouched.

You can say Bakey Man is becoming a replica of me without the depression and with more childlike innocence. This is very good. I wish more people and animals would become like me. I think the result would be a very productive, worthwhile society. In my mind, the depression is part of this. Out of the mud…springs the bud. The bud of a flower. On the other hand, if Bakey Man managed to summon enough willpower and intelligence to craft a new world, it would inevitably fall apart because he does not possess the ability to see beyond his own happy nose.

One must recognize that the evil of humanity sprouted from the peaceful mountains and mounds of dirt. It is important that one must always be on the lookout for that which is unfavorable coming out of the goodness, which is what is bound to happen, unless the creative forces of the long-gone, lonely rejects oppose this bitter cycle. You see, I love all this, the trees that surround me and all, but I am always on guard. Nothing can be trusted, and it is my purpose to not trust anything. If only a small amount of people can persist in this way, in harmonious resistance to all of existence, the rest can live in utter happiness. Anyway, that is how I see things.

Bakey Man does not even understand these very words that I am making him transcribe. His eyebrows twitch in obvious confusion, although he tries to hide it. I’m sorry for making you so self conscious, but I am only using you as an example. You are a good friend and servant.

So you see, it is easy for me to be resigned to living in agony, because I realize that this is why I am alive. No, the “universe” or “nature” did not inject this meaning into me. I bred it into my very own bones. That is the beauty of the unknown realm; individuality actually exists, trust me.

- the quiet mule

April 15th

6:18PM // 1 note // Comment

 Hi I LOVETHIS BLOG. I hope you write for many more years. Keep it up, dude!=]

- Cakey Man 

April 7th

11:39AM // 2 notes // The Quiet Mule Awakens

When I last laid eyes upon this sad world, it was the fall. All news from the outside world, the Americas in which I live, and the lands and oceans beyond, made me retire deeper and deeper into myself, for it was all so ignorant. The men and women that populate the land, those who live in the houses, and the rooms in the high-rise buildings, they all hope for some big, final death to come and release them from their frustration. Everyone hopes to die; it is something they would go through together, the last semblance of community that their cowardly hearts would aim for. To kill yourself, with no one else to accompany you into the great chasm, is sad and pathetic and looked down upon. But to die with the rest of the human race is acceptable…then the blame is watered down so no one feels like a fool.

But what can I say? I am also a coward. I am afraid of many things, most things in fact. The only world I can stand is one without other deep thoughts, without intelligence. I am happy to be the only one in this forest who knows what a lawnmower is. The birds think that the grass just gets cut, and that there’s no problem with this. I see that the grass that grows long in the prairie is the real grass. How do I know what is real? It cannot be put into words. And that is why I will forever be regarded as a crazy.

But, honestly, living in this natural landscape, taking pleasure in the dirt and the blood and the nakedness, I can’t say I am able to truly commune with the other animals, even the plants. Perhaps this is why I am still a dejected soul, even though I see the heavens surrounding me. The truth is, I have been tainted by humanity. If another mule walks in to this forest, I can guarantee you they will not like me. I am an animal with a human mind. And because of this hindrance, I will never be free.

I complain, I whine, I look at the blue sky, I remember that I’m a complainer, that only stupid people complain, I should really say nothing at all and accept it, but once I forget this, I am back to the thoughts again. I complain louder, and I get rowdier than before; sometimes I even scare every animal in my vicinity away. I don’t want to say there’s nothing I can do. But that’s all that comes to my mind.

If you have read this long, there must be some way in which I connect with you. Although I can’t stop hating these men and women, (reading their blogs, sipping coffees) I figure there must be somebody like me. You know, when I worked as a journalist in the “real” world, I found that the people that most related to me, my worldview, they were the quiet people. The losers, the intro-spectives, the depressed, the lonely assholes. I write this blog for you, hoping there is still something left.

Honestly, where does the forest end and the city begin? It is a notion I am constantly struggling with.

March 23rd

12:00PM // 2 notes // From a Hole in the Dirt

Hi, I’m Bakey Man. I transcribe all of The Quiet Mule’s blogs. He is such a good soul! I am being honest when I say I love him!

The Quiet Mule gets no money for what he does. He has no use for money. I bring him food, because I care about him, I like what he is doing. I work hard in the factory so that he can bring this blog to you. So I hope you like the blog.

Please comment on his posts. He is often alone, and when he is alone he tells me he thinks and dreams of comments. It will bring something to his life that is missing. Don’t tell him, but for now I comment to cheer him up.

- BAKEY MAN

March 14th

6:00PM // 3 notes // The Quiet Mule’s most intimate bickering on the state of humanity.

Humanity always faces a dilemma. In fact, many worthless lives are composed of a number of sequential dilemmas. One after another, the mind makes problems and confusing predicaments out of thin air. What is this for? Maybe it entertains, interests. Gives the poor in heart something to occupy themselves with.

My life is a dilemma. I will tell you what this dilemma is, plainly and concisely. I am an animal with a human mind. I cannot relate to anything, and if I can, I am only fooling myself. Men are lucky. Even if they rape and murder and fill their tummies with poisions, they can still go outside and breathe that fresh air, and feel like they’ve been rejuvinated and reborn a natural man. I have no such opportunity.

But, despite my situation, I still find ways to continue, to try to see some goodness. I have a friend…his name is Bakey Man. He is so stupid. But it’s alright for him, because he is so stupid that he does not realize what he is. Bakey Man…what is he? Is he a human? To this day I am not sure. His face is always covered with a rag, with a hole cut out so he can smoke cigars. But he does not smoke them with arrogance, like a man. He smoke with innocence.

Oww, my heel. The pain. I tell you, I can never leave this dirty hole (but I would not even want to, regardless) because of my affliction. It was my own doing. I was angry at the world and was not paying attention, and I tripped over my asses’ legs.

But Bakey Man, he helps me, he brings me food and collects water, even tells me stories from the outside. So I persist. This blog is my life.

October 12th

6:36PM // 23 notes

Click the pic of everyones favorite ani-mule and be shocked by its sad, sad conclusion. We were getting a bit tired of these boys, so we decided to kill them off. Besides, SmallComic is the more popular strip, if ten fans on tumblr can be considered popular. In any case, it has more fans than Quiet Mule, which to this day probably has one fan, and he lives in my town. He’s a good bro, though. Shoutout! YO DR. PEBBLES! HOW’S IT GOING! THANKS FOR YOUR NEVER-ENDING ENCOURAGEMENT! WE COULDN’TA DONE IT WITHOUT YOU, BABY!